• Mathura Hawley

shine

Updated: Aug 2, 2021


Against the back, a tall, shiny, Sharon Stone, looks directly at me. Her eyes move up over my face, up to the bandana tied over my head, and back down over my tux to my chest. "

Ralph Lauren is to receive his lifetime achievement award from Audrey Hepburn at the annual CFDA fashion awards ceremony and Sandy buys a table of tickets for us so we can honor our client, Ralph, and be a part of the evening. The boys go out and rent tuxes and change at work before we all take a car to Lincoln Center. It is one of the rare evenings of my life when I feel a part of something bigger than I can explain, and oddly comfortable in my own skin, be it a bow tie and jacket. During this time of my life, I wear a blue bandana on my head everyday, not sure what to make of my hair, which has begun its exit and is slicked back but not yet shaved. The bandana is just my way, and as it is the early 90’s, becomes my look. I separate from my friends, walking through the crowd taking it all in. I pass Donna Karan talking with Calvin Klein. I see Ralph across the lobby talking on camera to a fashion reporter. I feel so happy to be here, so grateful to have somehow come from where I had grown up to walking this gauntlet of talent and City life. I stand, by myself, waiting for the elevator, and as the door opens, the entire car of people stares back at me. Against the back, a tall, shiny, Sharon Stone, looks directly at me. Her eyes move up over my face, up to the bandana tied over my head, and back down over my tux to my chest. She walks out, raising one eyebrow and smiling slightly, and when she passes me, she winks. I get in the elevator, and possibly for the first true moment ever, feel something close to handsome.


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