• Mathura Hawley

balaram

Updated: Aug 2, 2021


Because I remember Luke coming up the aisle, a string of flowers around his strong neck and the expressive energy of his innocence that moved people to smiles or tears."

Today I watched you circle the ceremonial fire with Radhika, be tied to her with a colorful bond of threads, and exchange your vows of love while you each lowered garlands of flowers over the smiling face of the other. You proclaimed you would be there as one at every sunrise for the rest of your lives, and that you would grow together toward Krishna, no matter which direction he takes you, never to leave the other. And I believe you. To be truthful, I should not. Because not so long ago I was standing in the crushed fruit near the burning smoke of devotion. Because I remember the words I said and the future of promises made to me. Because I remember the melodic Kirtan being sung and how it drifted over me and up and out into the bright sky. Because I remember the joyous faces of my friends and family, chanting in a semi-circle of support. Because I remember Luke coming up the aisle, a string of flowers around his strong neck and the expressive energy of his innocence that moved people to smiles or tears. Because I remember so many of the beautiful things from that day that I locked away for many months. But with all my heart, I do believe you. With your loving invitation to be a part of this day, you unlocked it all for me. This past Spring, you were the one to reach out to make sure I was all right. You could somehow see the truth, the pain and the weight that I carried for another’s darkness and cruelty. You do not know this, but when you did, I ran upstairs to my little alter and I fell to the floor and thanked Krishna for sending, through you, a lifeline, a recognition of my pain and suffering. And I cried. I sobbed for a long time. And that is the reason I came from Brooklyn to be with you both today. To me, you are a living extension of Krishna, and only a few people who have ever lived through what I have gone through will understand. When I was about to turn away from God, you showed up and switched the light back on for me. And that is why I will always remember my day around the fire as a blessing as you will remember this one. Because you married gorgeous Radhika today, and last August 2nd, 2015, I began my vows to Krishna. And I meant those vows. And I saw your expression today when you lifted the veil over Radhika’s face. That is how I felt when Krishna took his off and allowed me to see him on that hot summer day. I am the luckiest man in the world, just like you. Balaram, you gave me a gift of kindness I could never repay. And I will always love you both for it in a very deep and special place in my heart. Blessings and happiness, my friends. Hare Krishna. Yours, Mathura


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