• Mathura Hawley

sick

Updated: Aug 2, 2021


Remember that once when you were sick, you were shown all these things. And once, when you were sick, you asked for help and got it. "

I get to the top of the bedroom stairs and I turn and sit down. When you are sick everything changes in motion. You become conscious of every breath, every step and each second, as a second itself seems to be longer by half. You wonder if these long, thick seconds are the same ones that always go by or why are they different today. You can feel your own skin like a coat. The world outside goes on like a noisy tv show, in color where you have become simple black and white, and watching it through the window causes you anxiety. Sounds are amplified and the breeze alerts you instead of cooling you and the wind blatantly frightens you with possibilities. The already sensitive become extra sensory perseptive. Your mind opens its doors and allows in your recent past, in detail you had thought forgotten, with emotion strong enough to take you back through your worst days and drag you down the stairs to where you keep your insecurities. Then you can see where you really live, the foundation and all, and you don’t get to climb back up those stairs until you are able to see it. Go ahead, try. They will turn to black ice under your feet. Remember that once when you were sick, you were shown all these things. And once, when you were sick, you asked for help and got it. And once, when you were sick, you decided to look for light in every corner. And that is why you are here. Because you asked to see everything. And you are not given more than you can handle. Ever. Sick or not, that is just the truth.


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