• Mathura Hawley


Updated: Aug 2, 2021

I like that nothing lately seems to knock me down, and if I feel it coming close, I dance around it, chanting."

A few nights ago, I got into bed after a really difficult day of negativity all around me, and I opened Facebook to see a picture of a smiling Om back in New York. It could have been a moment where all of the bad things that were happening would have caused me to literally lose my senses, where the stomach twists and your inner child is terrorized. That didn't happen. I turned off the light and went to sleep. Tonight I took the wrong train after a pretty rough day and stepped out in Williamsburg, miles from home and already 8:30. But I didn't curse to myself when I realized my mistake. Instead I got off the platform and tried to find pizza somewhere I had never been. I sat down and ate it slowly. It was really good pizza. Then I caught a cab, and now I am writing this. I talked with a friend tonight who told me we both vibrate higher. It is beautiful to share a moment like that with someone who seeks joy and sees you. What she said stayed with me and it is the reason I ate pizza in peace, and enjoyed the moment, and why I am wandering around Brooklyn looking at blocks I have never seen. I like the way I look today because I wore a tie and it made me feel handsome. I like that nothing lately seems to knock me down, and if I feel it coming close, I dance around it, chanting. Fear may be what holds us back, but it is surrender that makes us powerful. And there is a no more painful but miraculous experience than learning to accept who you are, no greater joy than realizing that it is you holding your own hand through the fire, and no greater gift than to respect and love yourself. I have had everyone else's back, now it is time to have my own. Let go, Mathura. Let's see what happens. Hare Krishna.

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