• Mathura Hawley

sky

Updated: Aug 2, 2021


I go into the theater and I am the only person there, taking a seat toward the front and in the middle. I glance nervously at the back but no one comes in. The lights go down. The movie begins. For two hours, I join the cast of Yentl "

We sit in the old theater on the outskirts of Binghamton on this winter's night and there are only a handful of people in the entire place, including the balcony. I am with my friends and their Mom, who has joined us to because we are seeing a musical which she loves. I am defying the curfew on my permit, knowing I will have to drive home alone after dark. I have already bought the soundtrack to this movie, Yentl, and I know every song, and have read every gossip magazine article I could find about the making of it. The movie begins and I disappear into it, and when it is over I want to cry but I don't because I am with my friends and feel embarrassed. We walk to our cars, and say goodnight. They drive out first, and I wave goodbye but sit in the parking lot. It has started to snow quickly. No one else pulls into the lot and no one approaches the front door. I shut off the car. I walk into the lobby and buy one ticket for the last showing. The man says nothing nor seems to recognize me. I go into the theater and I am the only person there, taking a seat toward the front and in the middle. I glance nervously at the back but no one comes in. The lights go down. The movie begins. For two hours, I join the cast of Yentl, singing every song and reacting to every moment, happy and sad. At the end, I climb on the boat with Yentl and we sail away from the place where she does not belong, off to somewhere where she will fit in with others like her. To new adventures and away from the pain of rejection and loneliness. We sail together, singing with hope, "With all there is, why settle for a piece of sky?" We are both pretty loud. And it ends. And then I cry because just for a moment, I think maybe I, too, will get away. And I put my coat on, and I go home.


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