carmen
“ But Carmen, sweet and expecting nothing but to be held a few minutes a day, just turned my own idea of loneliness inside out." The...
Fairy Tales
most recent
- Sep 2, 2021
training
“ I began to scream so loudly and for so long that my voice stopped working. I kicked everything fallen from my suitcase across the room...
61
- Aug 10, 2021
river
“ I could declare “enough” and hang myself from the rafters of the back deck. Or, I could, for the first time in my adult life, live.” I...
70
childhood moments
cheap
“ They thought my enthusiasm was funny, so after my fifth or six purchase, they brought out a cardboard box of vinyl record albums....
15
sink
“ The concrete of the pool moved past me and I sank silently for a bit." I fell into the Hutchings’ pool when I was two and a half, and...
10
lucky
“ The man who ran the booth for the local charity began to recognize me, and as I won more and more of the smaller prizes, he would call...
8
work
“ She peered out the back window through the curtains. I pushed, and sweated. Pushed and sweated. " My mother came home one spring day...
8
imagination
“ I began to dream of finding hidden rooms and magical places, the surprise always flooding me with feelings of happiness and relief. I...
4
tv
“ The music subsided. This was it, and everyone we knew would be watching. “We are back!” declared Officer Bill, making his way over to...
2
penpal
“ She pushed to exchange photos, and she finally sent hers, cute with long hair, with a note that said, “Send yours or else no more...
1
emergency
“ I shoved my quarter in and dialed, but got a busy signal. I tried again. Busy. Again. Busy. I started to panic. I dialed “0” and an...
5
goldie
“ One day I realized I had left my Goldie at Marine Midland Bank, when my mother and I had stopped to cash my dad’s check, and cried most...
2
goodness
“ We began to pick up the many broken jars, wrappers and single muddy gloves from under our feet. We would yell out an unusual find, or...
2
wave
“ “Now!” he yelled, pushing my shoulder, and down I went. I began to gain momentum. Faster and faster my heavy body shot down the...
3
fresh
“ We had signed up to be a Fresh Air Fund host family. Kids from 5 to 13 were bussed up for two weeks each summer from the inner city...
5
idiot
“ My mother called him "The Village Idiot," because he would often stop while we played on the sidewalk to babble incoherently at us, or...
2
child
“ The voices of my parents giving away where they were in the house, moving around with echoes and the laughter of my mother. " I wake...
2
apartment
“ "I read books, I write fan letters, and I wonder what kind of show I would like to host someday." I can barely contain my excitement...
3
happy
“ When she turns on the lights to our twinkling dining room, I fall to my knees, speechless." My grandmother passes away when I am 10,...
2
stairway
“ I would listen to my parents talk about me as if I were someone else’s child. " At the top of the stairway up to the second floor of...
2
animal soul mates
friend
“ Stuck in the fence was a goat, silent, her head lodged between two slats of the metal, her body sunk to the ground as if she had given...
0
soul
“ I looked over at Luke, and he looked up at me, his eyes squinting, his ears humbly pressed back against his head. Then, on his own, he...
1
acceptance
“ “Um,” the agent said to me, hinting at something I wasn’t getting. “Um,” he said again, gesturing down toward the floor. " I was at the...
0
bond
“ I decided as a gift to myself, I would rent a cabin at an upstate park. I worried that Luke, still so young and unruly, would turn the...
0
race
“ Caesar looked up at me, opened up his cheeks, and vomited sunflower seeds onto my hand. He wasn’t well. I panicked. I had counted on...
0
stay
“ There are stone covered graves lined with roughly cut wooden crosses that say “Razz , a good dog” and “Chumley, church cat, fed by...
0
angel
“ He is the same fish that greeted me this morning, almost two years later, as he always does, recognizing me as I approach the tank,...
0
lukey
“ When you want to sleep with me, I will carry you up the steep stairs of the cabin, while you clutch me like a baby. " Luke, I promise...
0
rescue
“ Her baby turned around to face me and I kissed her on the nose, then took our picture to remember how beautiful she is." I entered the...
0
found
“ For over two hours, we tried to find our way back but could not, instead coming to dead ends of fallen trees or thorny brush. “Sorry,...
0
swim
“ When I turned, he was leaning forward, making pretend paddling motions in the water with his paw. “That’s it, babe, you’ve got this,...
0
bf
“ As he pulled himself over, Luke cannonballed onto me from the other direction as if he were sliding into home base, which thanks to...
1
trail
“ Luke, who is wiggling down the slippery side of this place he has never been, not disoriented from being uprooted and catapulted 3,000...
0
father
“ I have no children. All I know of being a father, I have learned from Luke. " Luke is curled and pushed up next to me in the comforter...
0
child
“ He reached up to my face and licked me. And then he died. " There are a million mugs and refrigerator magnets about how our dogs are...
1
movies music and dreams
feelings
“ My friend Seri’s father gave me a box of small red spiral notebooks he found at work, and I meticulously wrote my scripts over into...
6
45
“ The song from the movie, “The Morning After,” became my favorite, and I played it over and over in my room, until it became so...
0
diva
“ My mother and I had passed this place, which we called “The Purple Building,” for years on our way to Grants Department Store or to...
0
finale
“ I had watched every airing of A Star is Born, and knew each song and word of the script, quietly acting out the scenes with Barbra...
0
touch
“ Diana came out in a red sequined dress and mile high hair. "Reach out and touch, somebody's hand," she sang softly, making her way to...
0
star
“ A few weeks later, the autographed photos began to arrive. Each day, my heart would race as I opened the mailbox, wondering who would...
0
hand
“ I took a deep breath to accept and remember that Jamie Lee Curtis was pulling me by my hand through a crowd of people at a party." Our...
4
sky
“ I go into the theater and I am the only person there, taking a seat toward the front and in the middle. I glance nervously at the back...
0
character
“ Once, during a lively Tupperware party in our living room, where I was helping her serve cake, my mother pulled me aside. “Do you want...
3
healing from sexual abuse
diary
“ I would take the diary inside my closet in the dark with a blue pen, unlock it with the metal key, and write curse words on page after...
1
window
“ I would yell out "Go away!" in these moments, still asleep, sometimes finding my voice, sometimes strangled with silence, and wake up...
1
shangri-la
“ Nothing like what was beginning to happen to me in the shadows of my own neighborhood. In Shangri-la, everyone loved everyone with...
1
two
“ Was she telling me it was me? Was she asking me? How could I tell her that it was more than a decade ago that I knew what Tommy’s...
2
secret
“ Nobody needs to know that I was so ashamed of having glasses as a chubby kid that I took them apart and secretly held one lens up to my...
3
room
“ I am the only one who knows what is happening to me. Why a little boy who was taught to be kind to the man next door now cries at...
1
shit
“ You are that same wounded little boy who would scream “Shit!” and “Fuck!” into a heavy winter coat in the dark corner of your bedroom...
0
superheroes
“The relief, understanding and joy it brings us as we begin to clear the path to love ourselves, and as we share that love with others,...
3
spirit
“ Some spirits are driven by the things they have been left out of. Some are driven by the things they imagine but cannot have. Some...
0
go
“ You will never trust anyone completely. You will dream in the shallow end and expect nothing. You will feel a little angry all the time...
0
time
“ This is the last stop on a trip I never meant to be on, taken away from a life I worked hard for, and when it derailed some time ago, I...
0
abuse
“ I ask him what makes him happy. He says when someone else is." I look in the mirror as the older man with the frightened red eyes...
2
twilight
“ The idea of these secret places where I was safe stayed with me, and took me through a dark time where I had to hold the entire truth...
0
group
“ The moments when I feel most comfortable are the ones where I bump up against others like me, in the corners, in the dark. " All my...
1
football
“ ...once I am in bed it flows over me like a heavy wave of oil, making its way up over my nervous system and into my head, where fear...
1
adoption
“ ...the toughest moment of your life is when you have a lot of the answers but have to answer the last big one: what are you going to do...
1
giraffe
“ My friends the inflatable animals are stuck in the pool, vulnerable to the wind and rain and lightening. I cant bear it. " I am a child...
0
the family that shapes us
reel
“ As we played the very last reel, the camera panned across the water as a beautiful woman in a white one piece bathing suit water-ski'd...
0
ask
“ I looked out at the sleet, down at poor Rudy, and asked him if he would come to get us. “I’m on my way,” he said, hanging up. " The...
1
age
“ His left eyelid wasn’t closing completely, distorting his always near-perfect vision and making it impossible to do what he loved most,...
0
wes
“ At the top of the stairs, I heard him moan, then found him lying on his side on the carpet of his bedroom, his glasses bent, a few feet...
2
betty
“ She was surprised one day, in first grade, when I shyly tapped her on the shoulder and asked if she could help me to find my teeth...
1
different
“ For years, he proved to me how weak I was. He would call me a “pansy,” a “fairy,” and a “girl,” all of which meant weak. His nickname...
0
birthday
“ My mother, now sick for almost five years, had given in to the cancer that had spread to her brain, waiting for me to drive through a...
0
uno
“ “Would it upset you to know that your father was married before?“ I was 17 and had never had a moment like this with her. " My mother...
0
gigi
“ During the summer, I would hop on my yellow Huffy and take my new 45’s over to play for her as she loved music as much as I did. " My...
0
play
“ Her Irish catholic parents had disowned my mother briefly, and so I understood why throughout the twelve years I knew my grandmother I...
0
men
“ I wanted to look like him, with shaggy long hair that fell over his eyes, and jeans with holes that belled out at the bottom." I...
1
home
“ There, in the living room, is my Dad, who had vowed that he would skip this Christmas, standing next to a bare tree, tangled in lights...
2
boobs
“ I think about the joke - which I cannot remember but it was about boobs and I had told it to Todd Krissell - and that will make it the...
2
love and sexual awakenings
